Sometimes there is a stigma for being charming. I suspect this arises because of the perceived falsehood of many who would be described as charming.

The solution then is clear and that is to become a charmer in an absolutely authentic way. This presupposes that there are identifiable qualities that can be learned, and indeed this is the case.

One of the qualities that distinguishes the true charmer from the rest of the population is a genuine interest in the lives of those with whom they interact. It is almost as if they have an insatiable curiosity about their fellow human beings and the lives they lead.

Of course, there is an immediate problem with this, as many people will consider this behavior to be that of a nosy parker. So obviously there are other steps that need to be taken before expressing interest. This is done using the ability known as rapport and everyone on the planet has used this ability at one time or another.

Relationship has been described as having a sense of trust and understanding with another person. You know you’re in a relationship when “time stands still” and when they start completing sentences with each other. They will also begin to mirror each other’s body language, facial expressions, and breathing rate. In deep states of rapport, you will also match your heart rate to that of the person you are with. When the other person is speaking, you can use what are known as minimal animators. These are words like yes, uhuh and really or OK and using these words lets the other person know that they have been heard and understood.

So this known as rapport could also be the state of being charmed or bewitched? Once you see that you have established a relationship, you can begin to guide the other person towards the goal you want them to do. However, there is a caveat here that you would do well to understand.

Whatever your goal is for the other person, it must be aligned with their values ​​or you can be seen as manipulative and unscrupulous. This is why savvy salespeople will always ask prospects and customers what results they want from the sale. The best of them will fire customers whose needs they cannot meet.

So we have discovered another aspect of the enchanter, which is a genuine concern for the needs and desires of another human being. Being a charmer may not be as complex as you first imagined.

If you simply need to respect others’ points of view and listen appropriately and pay attention to their words using minimal encouragement; to reflect the position of your body and your breathing rate, then you can also start using the charm.