You know that feeling, a girl, maybe your schoolmate or neighbor that you used to play with and probably even fight from time to time … one day she suddenly turns into the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

Well, it’s what love songs are made of.

Remember the 1976 hit song by British band Smokie “Living next door to Alice”? The chorus was

“Twenty-four years waiting for an opportunity, to tell her how I feel and maybe get a second look. Now I have to get used to not living next to Alice.”

Here’s a story my friend Gary told me and why I think being honest pays off:

“My dad just got a new job, so we moved to a new state and neighborhood closer to his job. I was 8 at the time.

Susan lived across the street at the new place and we also attended the same school. It was inevitable that we would become playmates. She had no siblings, so it was always school, home, lunch, homework, and then playtime with Susan.

Fast forward 4 years and the feelings came to me out of nowhere. One day we were friends, the next I was practically dreaming about her and always wanted to be around her. However, I couldn’t explain how I felt for fear of being teased or called soft. He had a feeling he liked me too, but he was too scared to speak. More years passed and it was time for college.

The day Susan left was very painful for me, but it would only get worse as I was in for a bad surprise. During summer vacation, Susan came home, but she was not alone. She brought her new boyfriend Dave. I was devastated.

Dave stayed for lunch and dinner that day, but the moment he left, I walked over to Susan’s house, rang the doorbell, and told her, to the amusement of her mother and younger brother, that I had been in love with her for many years. Guess what?

She asked me “Why did it take you so long?” We have been married for more than 15 years. “

You have these feelings inside, but you can’t seem to get them out because every time you see her, your knees get weak and you can’t put together a complete sentence. You feel like you’re dying inside every time he passes you without even a glance. Don’t worry, you are not alone.

So how do you get the confidence to speak?

1. Be Yourself: Please guys, this cannot be overemphasized and has to be the golden rule of male / female relationships. Trying to sound, walk, or talk like someone you are not makes you look youthful and upset. That certainly wouldn’t win you any favors from the ladies / girls. I’m not saying that if you have some poor personality traits you shouldn’t try to change them, but I’m sure you get the picture.

2. Don’t be afraid of rejection: As in my previous story, Gary was afraid for years to express his feelings because he was sure that Susan would reject him. But guess that? She does not! Even if he had, at least he would have had closure and could have put the incident behind him. The thought of saying “what if” for the rest of his life pushed him to finally make the move and you should too.

Let’s face it anyway, it’s not like I’m going to be beheaded Game of Thrones style for speaking from the heart to the girl!

3. Find out a little about their interests: The keyword here is “a little”. I’m not saying follow her about the city stalker style, but I’m sure a friend or two should be able to tell you what her hobbies are. Do you like to read, sew, swim, or even cook? Brush up on any of her interests and you’ll have plenty to talk about and keep her interested. It also helps you feel important.

4. Be romantic: remember the dates that are special to her. Birthdays and other events should not be forgotten. Gifts don’t have to be expensive, but they should show that you care.

5. Appearance is also important: We can’t do much with the genes we are born with, but what about the basics like clean hair and nails? Bad breath is a no-no and it can cost you dearly. You can bet you won’t get a second chance.

Take a second look in the mirror before you go out, even when you know you won’t be meeting her that day.

Take an exercise and, if possible, try to practice where you are likely to find yourself in action (yes, I know this sounds cheesy, but what can a man do?). Ever wonder why the boys on the football and basketball teams always had the girls back in high school, well you know now and can thank me later.

6. Try to get along with your friends: It may not always be possible, but don’t think for a minute that they don’t matter. They could go a long way to make or break your young love, especially in the early days of the relationship.

7. Don’t be lazy: I could write a whole book on this. What do you want from her? Say it. Don’t linger. However, don’t follow the marriage line on the second or even the third date. Do you understand my drift? Do you want just a friend, a girlfriend or a wife?

8. Show that you love your heart, not just your body: Physical contact is a very sensitive topic for both men and women. Keep your hands still until both of you are ready to move on.

So would you like to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been or will you take a chance and make a move with the girl? Gary in my story made his move, but the choice, my friends, is completely his.