Many people base their financial decisions on their emotions. This can be dangerous. In fact, one of the main causes of debt is self-esteem problems. Debt often cannot be eliminated by simply fixing the financials. The emotional must also be addressed.
And it’s not easy.
The first thing you have to learn is that you must use credit wisely. You may be using it to boost your self-esteem, but it often works the other way around. Instead of helping you emotionally, it will drain you. PT Barnum said that debt robs a man of his self-esteem.
Just think about how you feel when the credit card bill arrives. Think how you feel seconds after signing the receipt for a truly frivolous purchase. Your spirits may be lifted temporarily, but then regret and shame set in.
You can avoid this simply by not using your credit cards. Start learning to live within your means.
When families are stressed by financial difficulties, they tend to fall apart. There may be yelling, fighting, and stress between partners. Credit cards can lead to lying about purchases, lying about usage, and lying about bills being paid and bills not being paid on time.
When you’re in debt, your whole life can start to feel like it’s falling apart. Taking steps to get out of it will help you get not only his finances in order, but his family as well.
You’ll also find that there is more pleasure in seeing a large amount of savings than there is in seeing a large expense bill. Start a consistent savings plan. Watch it grow. The more it grows, the more you will want to contribute.
The biggest lesson in learning from debt is learning from mistakes. Experience is a great teacher. Make it your mantra not to repeat your financial mistakes. But you should also take the time to invest a little in educating yourself. Read articles, go to counseling, and talk to your friends about your experiences.
It will take time, hard work and sacrifice. But the emotional rewards are much better than the material ones.
Start by sitting down with your partner and discussing the situation, both emotionally and financially. If you get heated up in the discussion, walk away for a while. Don’t try to solve it all at once, just do it an hour at a time. This keeps you cooler and less emotional.
Separate your expenses from your feelings of worth. Ask yourself why you spend. I know that I often spend too much in part because I’m afraid I won’t have the things I need. I grew up without much money and I am afraid to go back there. I didn’t see that spending was putting me in that situation, it didn’t get me out of it.
It’s not complicated. Emotional reasons are usually just below the surface. You need to breed them, get rid of them and move on. Your finances depend on it.