It’s easier not to forgive

We’ve heard this before, about how forgiveness can help us move forward instead of getting stuck in an abysmal rut. In theory, it is easy to give suggestions for simple steps to free yourself from bondage. When it comes to implementing the idea, it becomes quite difficult and there are hardly any takers. I’m going to look at this purely from a practical perspective based on that, let’s take it one step at a time. Here are some ideas and the reasoning behind the ideas that cause us to sit still, stay stuck in a rut, not choose to forgive, and so on.

Root cause of the problem

Let’s take a hypothetical situation. Two people with different points of view tend to spit poison instead of trying to resolve their differences. Something from within could have caused the mess. Let’s say we take the mess out of the negative message to talk things out, constructively, wouldn’t that work?

Hypothetically speaking, if you both want to get to the root of the problem, stop the fighting and the negative hyperbole, you’ll probably just forgive and move on. It may require a series of proposals on both sides to help resolve the problem and heal the wounds. If you both want to solve the problem, amicably (it takes two hands to clap anyway), the root will no longer be a factor.

When you agree to disagree

Opposing points of view generate intelligent debates. When the situation gets out of balance, the debate will turn into a debacle. Accepting to disagree with someone who has a different opinion is what life as we know it is all about. A person, or a group of people, for example, who rants at someone, just to score points, triggers a series of negative reactions with a condescending barrage of gibberish (for lack of a better word), resulting in an exaggeration in all aspects. . So while it’s great to disagree with an opposing point of view, constant chatter bordering on the negative makes the swing too high. The bottom line is that neither would like to shake hands and give peace a chance. The easy way out in this context is to continue with the negative issue with no forgiveness option in sight. Sad but true.

holding on to a grudge

Just about everyone knows that holding a grudge seems like a wiser choice than trying to settle scores. Let’s consider this situation, imagine you have a fight with someone over a trivial issue. The problem can last days, weeks, months and years. Since the triviality was never addressed in the past, the grudge becomes a crutch because neither party would like to lose the crutch for fear of being considered the loser. A simple disconnection that could have been analyzed in a nice way becomes so huge that holding on to a grudge for life seems like the valid and smart choice. Forgiveness becomes a strange notion to consider mainly because they both believe they were right. To be fair, both parties are entitled to their own opinions. When you want to give peace, stubbornness and stubborn behavior a chance Will walk out the door

anger rears its head

Anger, like resentment, is an emotion that we hold on to and never let go of, until the end. Like stubbornness, anger becomes a crutch. The person or people we are angry with seem to be at the forefront of any problem, even if the person has nothing to do with the matter. Unfortunately, negative blindness takes over, resulting in anger, disgust, sarcastic behavior, and eventually hate. When the last phase is reached, letting go becomes very difficult and even impossible. Since no one is able to repair fences, but sitting on the fence is an easier route, the determination to stay angry continues. Therefore, even if the idea of ​​settling scores crosses your mind, the negative inner voice will continue while the anger remains and the hatred grows. Forgiveness, when you remain angry, becomes almost impossible, but in the future, it can work, if everyone wants to give peace a chance.

in plain speech

There are many reasons (other than those listed above) why forgiveness and love take a backseat. One main reason is that arrogance has become a main ‘virtue’: when you forgive someone, you give up pride. Most of us choose to keep pride close to our hearts, and being humble walks out the door.

Rather than get moralistic here, the point being made is that forgiveness has always gotten us places. It is very difficult and although we need to move on, we also need to heal. This starts with letting go of any pain, no matter what it is, and once we do, we can forgive ourselves, forgive someone else, and then expect forgiveness from others. This journey never ends, but unless we try, we will never make it.