I have rarely been accused of overthinking a situation. My “code of the west” mentality has been good to me through the years, rescuing me many times from the temptation to overthink! Unnecessary thinking can ruin a perfectly good plan, but not thinking at all can be dangerous to your health! A good example is a situation I witnessed last year.
One brilliant blue evening in late spring, my neighbor Joe was preparing for one of his famous cookouts. He was about to try out his new brick and mortar barbecue grill for the first time. A beautiful charcoal grill, he had personally overseen, to the masons’ chagrin, every detail of the project. It was a beautiful fireplace-style grill with the chimney almost head-high, built of the same brick that graced his house.
The barbecue pit featured a flat and curved black steel hood for cooking in enclosed spaces; with a warming tray built into the side of the pit to keep foods from getting cold while others cook longer. There was even a compartment built into the opposite side to house charcoal and a lighter. He was understandably proud of the best barbecue grill in the neighborhood!
The festivities began early with the arrival of the neighbors around 2:00 pm. By late afternoon, many in the crowd were already feeling the effects of the adult beverages provided by the host, who was having a particularly good time. Everyone had already tired of listening to an endless monologue from the presenter about the virtues of his new grill.
It was time to fire up the grill! There was only one small problem. With all the preparations he’d made for the cookout, Joe had forgotten his charcoal starter! Not to be sidetracked by such a small detail, he went to the tool shed at the back of his yard and brought back a large can of gasoline. After pouring a large amount of charcoal into the bottom of the grill, he arranged it in a perfect pyramid. The fire was supposed to burn more consistently this way Joe informed the crowd.
The neighbors had already realized what Joe was about to do and started yelling at him not to use gasoline to start the fire. Offers were made to run next door to get a charcoal lighter to no avail. Joe was determined to kick off his grill the right way; with a big fire! He also assured everyone that he knew what he was doing!
Joy was having fun, being the star of the show so to speak. She tipped the fuel can over to the coals and continued to pour even after the briquettes were completely soaked. Now came the moment of truth! He reads a match and with a dramatic flare, she tossed it onto the coal! Wow!
Mortar is very porous and does not always adhere perfectly to a surface without leaving a small crack in the mortar joint between the bricks. When a liquid like water, or in this case gasoline, fills that crack, it will flow into the base of the structure, like a barbecue grill. Gasoline vapors that flowed into the grill did what gasoline vapors do when in contact with a flame. The grill exploded!
Bricks and mortar, blown to pieces, rained down from the sky on all of us who had witnessed the explosion! No one was hurt because most of the crowd turned away from Joe when they saw what he was about to do. Joe was slightly injured by a grill fragment that grazed his forehead. Nothing serious!
Their grill was a mess! A few seconds before, it was a beautiful example of workmanship; something to be proud of and enjoy for years to come. Now it was just a mile of rocks! Apparently, Joe had never heard that in some cases, alcohol and gasoline don’t mix! Warning! Drinking and making a fire with gasoline can kill you! Whether you’re drinking adult beverages or not, don’t use gasoline to light charcoal!
My neighbor Joe has recovered from last year’s disaster. He is now making plans to build an even bigger coal stove than the one before. From the size of the storage area in the BBQ pit, I doubt you’ll ever be without a charcoal starter again!
Remember, friends don’t let friends’ barbecue get drunk!