On my first newspaper assignment as a critic, I was well prepared to deliver it. I was less prepared to accept it. Imagine my surprise when my witty and well-crafted critique drew quite a few letters full of insults and nasty words. She stung. Could the critic handle criticism? I found that with some emotional discipline and introspection, he could not only handle criticism, but he could grow from it. That is how.

Allow yourself to feel hurt, briefly. It is natural to feel shocked and hurt by criticism. Acknowledge it, feel it but don’t allow yourself to wallow in it. Knowing that you have a technique for dealing with criticism allows you to curb hurt feelings as you move to the next step.

Consider the source. All critics can be divided into three categories. The critic can be a nut, someone who lives in pain and feels the need to spread it. The critic may be a self-proclaimed expert. Such people feel they have a duty to point out other people’s shortcomings. Or the critic may be a mentor, someone whose thoughtful and objective opinion can help improve his performance.

Deal with it. If your critic is a nutcase, recognize that these people attack anyone or anything that catches their eye. Say a prayer for them as you run their comments through your mental paper shredder. If your reviewer is a self-proclaimed expert, consider their motivation. Does it seem like they honestly want to help you improve? Or is their purpose to make you disappear so they can feel superior? In any case, your criticism may contain a grain of truth. Be open to looking for it. But if you feel like your critic needs to drag you down in order to get back up, raise your emotional barriers. Consider any aspects of their criticism that seem valid, but don’t let them undermine your sense of self-worth. Hopefully, your critic is of the third type, a mentor, someone whose opinion you can respect. His review is well thought out and deserves your serious attention. Consider what they say and see if it offers you the opportunity to improve a real flaw.

Move on. Take what valid points you can from your critic. Decide whether or not you want to use criticism as an opportunity to improve, and then move on. If you find yourself obsessed with criticism and allow it to drain your energy and confidence, close the door on it. Visualize your critic, or his card, framed in a door. Imagine closing the door with a satisfying bang, hearing the lock click, and walking away. Watch the door getting smaller and smaller until it disappears into the past. This signals to yourself on many different levels that you are closing the door on the event and moving forward.

Writers of any type will always meet with criticism. You don’t have to like it, but you can refuse to be hurt. Learning to handle criticism with a calm and confident spirit will help you grow as a writer and as a person.