True self-confidence comes from believing in yourself and through action that proves the belief. Today, based on what I have discovered about self-confidence, I am able to do things that I once thought I would never do or could do. Now I feel like I can conquer the world! Let me take you back to my childhood and give you a taste of the “old me”.

When I was a child, both my father and my teachers thought I was “dumb and stupid.” In their minds they thought I was retarded and an IQ test “proved” that I was. However, such tests do not take into account the stress of external factors that contribute to a lower score. And when you add in the fact that I stuttered, it only made my so-called “foolishness” worse and led to my self-confidence dropping even more at the time.

And yet, doing things that proved otherwise was key to achieving a higher level of trust. My martial arts training and playing Pop Warner soccer helped. I also realized that I was good at coming up with new ideas. So I opted for those factors to build my own confidence. Talking to others would have to wait until I was ready to express myself.

I eventually discovered my self-confidence in the field of public speaking as well. What I won’t tell you is that simply giving unwarranted praise will build self-confidence. it won’t. What I am going to share here are five keys that I discovered to gain absolute confidence in oneself and that will also help you:

1. Believe with all your might that you are worthy. When you believe in yourself, you will begin to behave as if you deserve everything that life has to offer. It is also the path to safe action.

2. Action is king in creating the neural connections of self-confidence. Part of the action process is creating the physiology of trust. Imagine how a very confident person would stand, walk and/or behave. Now, imagine that you do the same, and then do it.

3. Make mistakes. The more you earn and when you learn from them, the more confident you will be. Finding out what works and what doesn’t work in a given situation will increase knowledge. It is a fallacy that people have what is known as “common sense”. Everything depends on the experiences that one has regarding a certain situation that will give it the necessary meaning for it. Until and unless you have that experience and knowledge, it is not “common sense” to you.

4. Surround yourself with people who support you. That can include friends, mentors, associates, and even clients/clients. I get a lot from my clients all the time. When they succeed after a suggestion I make, that helps build trust in me.

5. Keep a scrapbook, achievement folder, newspaper articles, testimonials, etc., that show YOU! Like the trophies and medals won by athletes, this will serve as a reminder that you can do things worthy of great praise. While this is external in nature, it serves to affect your subconscious mind. If you have written a book, keep it in the same vein.

Now, take each of the keys and start building the self-confidence you want in your life. Remember this, the more you do to build self-confidence, the more you will gain it. And saving it! By the way, the new me earned two PhDs, a 5th degree black belt in Kenpo (and other black belts), wrote books, built successful (and some not-so-successful) business ventures, and so much more!