Fail on your way to success
How many times do you have to fail before you succeed? That’s the million dollar question.
Perhaps the first question should be: How many times have you failed in your life?
If you’re like me, you’ve probably “failed” more times than you can count. Or more times than you’d like to admit. And how many times do those voices in your head tell you “you can’t do that”, “don’t even try, you’ll fail” or “what makes you think you can?”
Or even worse, do you hear yourself saying negative sentences? Those little words with big impact, like “that was stupid,” “I’m such an idiot,” or “why am I so lazy?” Why do we ever say things like this to ourselves in the first place?
We have been programmed, indoctrinated, for over 13 years (from kindergarten to high school) that failing is not okay. Many of us have been drilled into that for years after high school. Time and time again we are taught to believe that failure is not okay. Failure is underestimated. We are accused of feeling ashamed when we fail, we are taught to hide our failures and criticize ourselves for past failures. What’s worse, some of these failures turn into fears. These fears can overcome us, become paralyzing, and sometimes control us. They become so strong, to the point that we can no longer function or even think properly in front of them. So after all this, how do we overcome our fear of failure or our past failures?
First, know that you are not alone.
Let’s be properly introduced to some of the biggest so-called “failures” of all time…
There is Abraham Lincoln, who, in
1830 was demoted. He went from Captain in the Army to Soldier…
1832 lost his job when he was defeated in his bid for state legislature…
1833 failed in business…
1835 his beloved dies…
In 1836 he suffered a nervous breakdown…
1838 was defeated in a race for the Speaker of the House…
1843 lost nomination – sought to run for a seat in Congress…
1848 was a member of Congress and then lost his renomination for Congress…
1849 he was rejected for the post of land officer; he was declined an appointment as secretary and then also as Governor of the Territory of Oregon…
1854 was defeated in a race for the United States Senate…
1856 was defeated for the vice-presidential nomination…
1858 he was again defeated in a race for the United States Senate… and only two years later, in
1860 he was elected president of the United States of America.
Talk about a long way. Not just failure in business, but failure again and again in politics. heartbreak. Failure to keep your composure: A nervous breakdown is not something most people want to admit. And yet, President of the United States. One of our most beloved and admired presidents…
Do you think Honest Abe is an anomaly? A unique one? Let’s look at someone else.
There is Winston Churchill, who, in
1880 developed a speech impediment…
1885 managed to fail the sixth grade…
1893 failed the entrance examination to the military university – three times…
1895 lost his only mother figure when she passed away…
1897 he was defeated in the Malakand War…
1899 he was defeated in a race for Oldham Parliament; he was captured and even imprisoned in a prisoner of war camp in Pretoria…
1904 he finally got a seat in Parliament and ended up losing his seat in Parliament…
1908 had a seat in the Cabinet and also lost his seat there…
1921 she lost her fourth child, who died at the age of three…
1922 he was defeated in a candidacy for Chancellor…
1931 he lost his Cabinet seat… and in
In 1940 he became Prime Minister, inspiring the British resistance to Adolf Hitler through his steadfast refusal to consider defeat, surrender or compromise. He led Britain in this role until Hitler’s defeat and is “widely recognized as one of the most influential people in British history.”*
Politicians may not impress you.
Maybe the older figures don’t resonate with you.
Have you ever failed on an idea?
Thomas Edison did it. His teachers said that he was “too stupid to learn anything”. In fact, he was fired from his first two jobs for being “unproductive.” As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts to invent the light bulb. How many times are you thankful for that light bulb, every day?
Maybe you are not an inventor. But have you ever failed in business?
Henry Ford failed and went bankrupt five times. Five times before being known as one of the greatest car manufacturers of all time.
Don’t you like cars? What about sports?
The all-time great Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times in his career. He for a long time held the record for the most home runs, but did you know that for decades he also held the record for the most strikeouts? You can’t hit a home run before you strike out: more times than you can count.
Babe wasn’t the only strikeout in town.
Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” He filed for bankruptcy multiple times before building Disneyland. In fact, the proposed park was rejected by the city of Anaheim on the grounds that it would only attract riffraff.
Today, millions of so-called riffraff from around the world venture to Disney theme parks, cruise ships and resorts.
One more failure to keep in mind, for all those music lovers looking to find success one day in that field:
Beethoven handled the violin awkwardly and preferred to play his own compositions rather than improve his technique. His teacher called him “desperate as a composer.” Need I say more?
Perhaps you have heard of these names?
You should know some of them, if not all. Why am I doing so much of them? Because all these people learned something that you may not have learned yet. They knew that failure is just one step closer to success.
Thomas Edison said it best when he said, “Many of life’s failures are people who didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
Are you close to giving up? Are you too afraid to start? Do you want to overcome your fear of failure and learn how to use it to succeed? These 4 easy steps to overcome failure are just for you. Use them to succeed!
1) CELEBRATE FAILURE!
That? Yes, celebrate failure! When you get over your own pride and recognize that failure is part of growing, then you are just getting started. Know that failure is part of learning and part of ultimately being successful. When you can internalize this, the real learning will begin, which no school can teach.
Robert Kiyosaki, in his book Rich Dad Poor Dad talks about a conversation he had with his “rich dad”, paraphrased as:
“You will go bankrupt at least 4 or 5 times before you become a millionaire, so why not start right away?”
Let’s not waste time celebrating our failures!
2) UNDERSTAND YOURSELF, UNDERSTAND YOUR FAILURES
Evaluate and learn from your past mistakes. If something didn’t work, learn to identify why. In other words, make sure you understand what worked and what didn’t. If you have an understanding of why some business failed, then you can learn how to avoid the mistake again and try another method. Change comes from mistakes and change puts you on your way. Don’t repeat your mistakes. It’s not just a cliché when George Santayana said, “Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”
3) COLLABORATE
Surround yourself with people who allow you to fail.
Don’t you know who it is? Let’s see an example:
A newly hired executive vice president made a terrible business decision for his company. His decision was so bad that it cost the company more than $2 million dollars. After all was said and done, he knew he was going to be fired. He waited for the CEO to make the call. When the phone finally rang, he went to the CEO’s office and stood at attention, waiting for the inevitable. Unsurprisingly, the executive vice president was asked why he made the decision he did. He was asked: “What information did he use?” and “How might the decision outcomes be different?” As the meeting came to a close, the executive vice president was completely confused. He asked, “So you’re not going to fire me?” The CEO responded, “OMG no, I just invested over $2 million dollars in your education!” While that situation is extreme, that CEO is the kind of person he wants to be around. The principle is the same: collaborate with people who allow you to fail and appreciate what you have learned from your mistakes.
4) COMMIT
You have to commit to yourself, have an iron will that doesn’t give up! Keep trying, no matter how much or how many times you fail. Don’t stop with failure. Remember what Edison said: “Many of life’s failures are people who didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of giving up when overcome with temporary defeat. Every person is guilty of this mistake.
In Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich, there is an illustration about a man who got caught up in the “gold rush” from the time the United States experienced the gold rush. He went west to pursue his dream of getting rich. After weeks of work, he was rewarded with the discovery of the glowing mineral. But he needed machinery to bring the ore to the surface. So he went to his home in Williamsburg, Maryland, and told his relatives and some neighbors about the “strike.” They collected the money he needed for the machinery and sent it to him.
The return in gold proved that they had one of the richest mines in Colorado! A few more carts of that mineral would pay off the debts. Below were the exercises! Man’s hopes rose! Then something happened… the vein of gold ore disappeared! They had reached the end of the rainbow and the pot of gold was no longer there. They pierced, desperately trying to get the vein back back, all to no avail.
Finally, they decided to QUIT. They sold the machinery to a junk dealer for a few hundred dollars and took the train home. This “junk” man called a mining engineer to look at the mine and do some calculations. The engineer reported that the project had failed because the owners were not familiar with the “fault lines.” His calculations of his showed that the vein would lie ONLY THREE FEET FROM WHERE THE PREVIOUS MAN HAD STOP DRILLING! That is exactly where it was found! So the “junk” man took millions of dollars worth of ore from the mine, because he knew enough to seek expert advice before giving up.
When you’re committed, you’re willing to stick with it and find people to help you along the way. do not give up
Turn failure into success with these 4 steps:
Celebrate, understand, collaborate and engage
As simple as they are, they are not easy. Sometimes your commitment will be met with anger; if you do, get mad! Let nothing stop you and you WILL GET IT!
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winston_Churchill