As I approached my thirtieth birthday with a speed I would normally aspire to achieve, I found myself looking closely at my life. I thought and analyzed my achievements thus far (or as I thought at the time, my complete lack of them) and explored where I would like to be in the future.

I had recently married the man I met when I was only nineteen years old. We were together for ten years before we got married. I was, am, one of those people who lives sensibly and confidently hour after hour and day after day. I did not make hasty decisions. As for family, the possibility of having difficulty getting pregnant had never entered my sensitive mind and I always thought that I would have children when I was thirty.

After our wedding, we decided the time was right for a family and naively thought it would just happen, just like that. It didn’t. And it continued to not happen for two more years. After many doctors and investigations, it turned out that I had a slight fertility problem, but not one that should be detrimental. I started with a course of Clomid.

It’s funny how obsessed I got. She thought about babies constantly. I looked at pregnant women with envy and was convinced that the pregnant population in my hometown had quadrupled. Everywhere I looked, friends, colleagues, and even family, they all seemed to get pregnant very, very easily. Just when I was about to lose myself in utter mental torture of many ‘woe mes’, I checked my calendar and realized I needed to take a pregnancy test. Boxing day 2001 and I tested positive. Amazing. The pregnancy was surprisingly easy. (If absolute chronic vomiting is ignored from week six to two days postpartum). An exciting time then followed at week 30 that resulted in a week of hospitalization and a near-preterm delivery. Happily, the pregnancy continued and in August 2002 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, born at 38 weeks and weighing a tiny 5lbs 3oz. Fantastic! Jessica Rosa.

Interestingly, without much planning, I got pregnant again in 2004. This pregnancy was very difficult. Again, I had chronic vomiting but, in contrast, I did not feel happy or healthy during the pregnancy. I felt constantly tired, not a little but overwhelmingly exhausted. During week 30 (obviously a turning point for me) I developed obstetric cholestasis. Cholestasis is a rare complication of pregnancy, which causes a buildup of bile acids in the bloodstream. The main symptom is persistent itching. He was picked up during a routine visit to see my OB consultant. I had arrived at my appointment feeling pretty bad. He had been away from work with constant vomiting and exhaustion. Literally in the hospital waiting room, I developed chronic itching, mostly on my hands, but then it spread to other parts. The itching made me so desperate that I scratched until my skin bled. They admitted me to the hospital there and then and I stayed there. Back then, I didn’t know anything about cholestasis, I hadn’t heard of it at all. Although now I feel like I know too much. When I had been in the hospital for a few weeks and was having daily blood tests, I was informed that my liver function and bile acid results were rising significantly and could pose a risk to my unborn baby, who I knew was a girl. . I didn’t quite understand the exact medical terminology then, nor did I really understand what was going on, but when a lovely midwife came and took my hand and very calmly explained to me that having obstetric cholestasis could result in stillbirth and that I should prepare for that – my world fell apart.

The next day my consultant came to see me and informed me that she was going to start an immediate induction to hopefully deliver my baby safely. Induction started without delay and with few complications. I was connected to a heart monitor belt continuously and I remember at one point it felt as if the pain had reached an absolute peak. My husband had been looking at the heart rate monitor and noticed that the machine was no longer detecting a heartbeat. Since I had not seen a midwife for some time, my husband pushed the alarm and a midwife showed up immediately. Within seconds there was a team of midwives, a pediatrician, and nursing assistants present in the room. My husband panicked: I was busy dealing with the pain, but then I realized that there seemed to be a problem. The next thing I remember is that my daughter was born. At 7:20 am on April 15, 2005, at week 35, I delivered a very healthy and very lively 5 pound 11 ounce baby girl. Elisa Mai. Everything was fine, luckily and I was relieved.

There I was, 33 years old and the proud mother of two beautiful girls. How lucky.

Then, in late 2006, I found out I was pregnant again (considering at one point in my life I thought I wasn’t going to have any children, this was pretty mind blowing). This time I went into the pregnancy with my eyes wide open. I knew that after having cholestasis during my last pregnancy, I had a 60-80% chance of getting it again. Forewarned is forewarned as they say. The pregnancy was, like the first, very easy. I didn’t even have the disease after the 14th week and so I was convinced that I was going to have a baby. My logic was that when you are pregnant with a girl, there is an increase in estrogen which causes the disease. With a boy there is no. I continually observed the symptoms of obstetric cholestasis and was relieved when none appeared. I got to week 30 and then it started to itch like crazy. I couldn’t sleep at all because of the need to scratch myself. I would get up many times during the night to shower to try to reduce the itching. I was exhausted and was referred to my consultant. Many blood tests were done, but there was no increase in liver function or bile test results, and therefore cholestasis was not diagnosed. They kept me under frequent observation for the next two weeks, for which I will be forever grateful. Then, after meeting with an interim consultant, I was informed that I would be taken off the ‘at risk’ register as I obviously did not have cholestasis and therefore my pregnancy should be treated as ‘normal’. This I could not accept. Having gone through the concern of a significant possibility of stillbirth last time, I was not taking chances in all this time. I became an annoying pregnant woman and lobbied my midwife, GP and counselor for numerous blood tests as the itching was still completely unbearable. This was in itself, I think, a significant sign of cholestasis. I understand that the chances of stillbirth increase towards the later stages of pregnancy and I know that many consultants of patients with diagnosed cholestasis think it is best to deliver the baby at around 35-38 weeks, as induced labor at this time has a high probability of survival of the baby. Armed with this information, I continued my search for preterm labor. Something I know a lot of people disapproved of. But, my conscience is clear. I was doing what I thought was best for my baby. It was finally agreed that I would be induced at 37 weeks, July 2007. After a very traumatic delivery, where my baby was coming down the birth canal but I was not dilating and then a distress signal from my baby, I am pleased. to be able to say that my third GIRL was born happy and healthy, weighing 6 pounds. Emily Grace.

I am now the mother of three beautiful and charismatic girls. My life revolves around them and they are, thankfully, blissfully unaware of the trials and tribulations that their safe arrival here encompassed.

My family is complete. While I may secretly long for another baby, I know my family could not handle another pregnancy and all the trauma it can bring.

My advice to anyone would be to not ignore any kind of health related problem during pregnancy and visit your GP. I don’t know how things would have turned out if I hadn’t met with my consultant during my second pregnancy, and I don’t dare think about what would have happened during my third if I hadn’t been so persistent.

Every pregnancy is different. But we as parents have to take responsibility for our unborn children and make sure nothing is overlooked.